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How to Talk to Your Girls About Body Image

We stepped aside to a quiet spot in the school hallway where she revealed to me, near tears, that she was walking funny.

“Because my stomach is fat,” she admitted, triggering negative self-talk cry mode. She demonstrated that she was walking with her shoulders and waist slightly bent forward all day to hide her “fat” stomach.

As a woman, I totally get this experience. But as a 9-year-old, how could she feel this horrible about herself already? Of all things to worry about at this age, being fat isn’t one of them. Except that it is.

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When Hope is Shared

It will serve as a reminder to me, for now, and to Ava as she grows old enough to understand, that we must endure what we think we cannot, that we must still believe even when we want to give up, that we must be present often enough to feel the purity of gratitude, and that there is immense love and power in the sharing of HOPE.

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Science with Mad Mom

(Originally written April, 2016) In the spirit of subtle non-conformity, this evening I eagerly attended the Mad Science with Mom event at school with my daughter – a Mother-Son event. We arrived to an auditorium full of rambunctious elementary-aged boys puddled together hyperactively cross-legged on the floor making a mess of pizza and absently spilling […]

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How Gay Paris is with Jim

(Originally written in April, 2012) Hanging out in Paris with Jim is like stomping through a Parisian Smurf village destroying centuries-old mushroom houses with a rolling keg of beer. The French are all running around in their scarves and tight pants, sipping wine and coffee out of pinky cups. They pack themselves like cigarettes next […]

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The Unwitting American Racist

When two of my friends and co-workers, Kim and Tina, asked if I felt safe walking to my car at night by myself in an affluent La Jolla neighborhood at the end of our evening out, I actually said, “Look around! There’s nothing but rich white people!” Yep. It came right out of my stupid […]

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Home in a Basket

Back when I had the luxury of sitting on my shrink’s second-hand couch in her excessively white office, a box of tissues in arm’s reach next to a clock tracking each of the fifty minutes, she would ask me to close my eyes and think of my safe place. She’d say it could also be […]

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A Rainbow in the Rain

On the last lap, we were running in the rain. Laughing. She’s faster than me. The rain quickened her pace. I ran, momentarily alone, the windblown rain pelting my face, soaking my clothes, squinting my eyes, until they closed. Running blind. I didn’t want to open them. I wanted to keep running, looking up, blind, rain weighting my hair down, dripping off my nose and chin. Nature. Is. Bigger. Than. Us.

This is not an injustice. It is a surrender.

Free.

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The Angry Optimist

You can prepare and train as much as possible, but you can never be totally ready for the hardest things you aim to achieve, especially when it’s a path you’ve never taken. That’s when you put your default anger setting to good use.

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Crumbling from Within: How Confirmation Bias is Defeating America

Why is confirmation bias important? Because it can cause people to develop false beliefs, give more weight to information that supports their beliefs than is warranted by the evidence, and overlook or ignore evidence contrary to their beliefs. We see this at play day in and day out in all forms of our media consumption. The problem is, we can see other people’s biases, we just can’t see our own.

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