We stepped aside to a quiet spot in the school hallway where she revealed to me, near tears, that she was walking funny.
“Because my stomach is fat,” she admitted, triggering negative self-talk cry mode. She demonstrated that she was walking with her shoulders and waist slightly bent forward all day to hide her “fat” stomach.
As a woman, I totally get this experience. But as a 9-year-old, how could she feel this horrible about herself already? Of all things to worry about at this age, being fat isn’t one of them. Except that it is.
Read More How to Talk to Your Girls About Body Image
It will serve as a reminder to me, for now, and to Ava as she grows old enough to understand, that we must endure what we think we cannot, that we must still believe even when we want to give up, that we must be present often enough to feel the purity of gratitude, and that there is immense love and power in the sharing of HOPE.
Read More When Hope is Shared
(Originally written April, 2016) In the spirit of subtle non-conformity, this evening I eagerly attended the Mad Science with Mom event at school with my daughter – a Mother-Son event. We arrived to an auditorium full of rambunctious elementary-aged boys puddled together hyperactively cross-legged on the floor making a mess of pizza and absently spilling […]
Read More Science with Mad Mom
(Originally written in April, 2012) Hanging out in Paris with Jim is like stomping through a Parisian Smurf village destroying centuries-old mushroom houses with a rolling keg of beer. The French are all running around in their scarves and tight pants, sipping wine and coffee out of pinky cups. They pack themselves like cigarettes next […]
Read More How Gay Paris is with Jim
(Originally written in April, 2012) “I no help you. You stand in that line,” says the stern small Asian woman with a dismissive wave of her hand. I glance over at the line she is referring to. The intense tightening in my chest momentarily steals my ability to respond. The lone blond in the chroma-key […]
Read More Down and Out in the Chinese Consulate
(Originally written in July, 2012) It’s nearly midnight on a Thursday in the abandoned convention center area in Downtown San Jose. Streets are blocked off in all directions – barricades, orange cones and police officers keeping the peace. Traffic signals are ignored as six-thousand “motivated” people fill the streets in a Tony Robbins trance chanting […]
Read More Why You Should Never Listen to Tony Robbins
When two of my friends and co-workers, Kim and Tina, asked if I felt safe walking to my car at night by myself in an affluent La Jolla neighborhood at the end of our evening out, I actually said, “Look around! There’s nothing but rich white people!” Yep. It came right out of my stupid […]
Read More The Unwitting American Racist
Back when I had the luxury of sitting on my shrink’s second-hand couch in her excessively white office, a box of tissues in arm’s reach next to a clock tracking each of the fifty minutes, she would ask me to close my eyes and think of my safe place. She’d say it could also be […]
Read More Home in a Basket
Dear Baby Girl, You said that what you see happening in our country makes you sad. You are 12 years old now, my love.You know that Santa Clause isn’t real, and now I have to tell you the truth about America.One nation under God indivisible with liberty and just for all, isn’t real either. You […]
Read More A Letter to My Daughter: We can be better than what you see
Too depressed to get dressed, she threw on a pair of dirty yoga pants and kept the tank top on that she slept in, which she had also worn the day before. As she rubbed a raging headache, leftover from the marital spat the night before, she felt like just another failing, frumpy mom-wife with […]
Read More At What Age do Girls Learn to Hate Themselves?
Therapy = boundaries = impervious to sharp objects.
Read More How to be Impervious to Sharp Objects
I wasn’t sure if I was annoyed by her or impressed by her. When I offered up that I was getting my degree in Astrophysics, as an obviously older student, her immediate response was, “Wow, don’t you have to be smart for that?”
It’s confirmed. I’m annoyed by her.
Read More Astrophysics? Don’t You Have to be Smart for That?
You can prepare and train as much as possible, but you can never be totally ready for the hardest things you aim to achieve, especially when it’s a path you’ve never taken. That’s when you put your default anger setting to good use.
Read More The Angry Optimist
We have all noticed that everywhere we go today, people are staring at their phones. If you are not one of those people, maybe you’re the one that puts your phone away to try to be more present, only to leave you feeling like the sober person at the party, annoyed and alone in a room full of tech-drunk people.
Read More Are we hooked on our devices? Are we hooking our kids? Take the No Tech Challenge.
Everywhere we look in the universe, we are seeing reflections of ourselves. With one open eye, we are looking at where we came from and why we’re here. We are looking at our past and our future. Just as humankind across all origins, tones, ideals and cultures share love, hope, despair and fear, all the universe, including humankind, shares chemicals and evolution, existence and dying. The only thing that makes us different at all is that we exist now. It is our turn to be born, to live, to die, contributing to the only planet that has any life at all, so far, in the inconceivable vastness of the expanding universe. This is our chance, before we become just memories, and then just dust.
Read More One Open Eye: Seeing Saturn for the First Time